so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
