But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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