Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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