Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
