Your mouth is God's brothel.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
