U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
