It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
