So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
