whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Im part way to drunk.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
