when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
its liver damage thursday
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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