Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
