saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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