she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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