I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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