Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My ass is underappreciated
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
