if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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