I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
