I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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