I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I skipped work to stalk him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
