So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
