hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
