If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
