help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
