the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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