And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
