I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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