Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
