my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
