I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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