Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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