tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
