I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
