She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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