I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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