Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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