Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
