i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
