Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
