i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
