it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have tasted many bathrooms
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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