so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
