don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
