wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
