we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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