she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
