oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I need to calm my uterus...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
