Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
