Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
