im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have demons in me.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize