I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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