u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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