I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
