i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
