dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
