You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
