Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
