i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
