Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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