She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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