no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
