Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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