My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
