I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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