i think i have herpe
just one?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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