i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Pants are for mortals
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
