On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
