he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
