I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
