No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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